You Kept Me Going
by XxSasuNaruLovexX
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have been together since his return 3 years ago. After a lot of searching, Sasuke has found more Uchiha's in a distant valley far from Konoha, he has to leave Naruto for an unknown amount of time to try and bring his family back to Konoha. Naruto is scared he isn't going to come back, then everything changes and Naruto needs Sasuke more than ever. MPreg, Self-Harm
1. Chapter 1

He paced back and forth between the dresser, the closet and his suitcase. Trying to ignore the constant sobbing he heard from the other figure in the room. From the corner of his eye he could see the figure shaking, it broke his heart more and more to see it. He had to stop, he couldn't take it anymore. "Naruto..." Sasuke whispered, "Please stop crying. It's breaking my heart." the raven said again and kissed the the blonde's cheek.  
"Sasuke...I love you...I'm sorry I'm being so selfish." Naruto cried more. "I love you too baby, you're just upset, I would be too, you know I don't wanna leave you, but I have to do this...for my family." Sasuke whispered the last part. "I know...I know." Naruto looked down.  
Sasuke had discovered he had a lot of family in a distant land far from Konoha, he was going to leave for a while to try to bring them to Konoha, but it was going to take a long time to get close to them. Sasuke moved his bag to the floor and pulled Naruto on to the bed and held him. He stroked his hair and kissed him. "One more time baby...I wanna make the most passionate love to you ever." the raven whispered. "Yes..." Naruto kissed him and little by little clothes were discarded.  
"Tell me if it hurts Naruto, okay?" the raven whispered in the blonde's ear and entered him slowly. Sasuke heard a pained noise come from his partner, but it soon relaxed after they started rocking back and forth. The more they kept going, Sasuke's heart kept breaking. Naruto was moaning through tears, he kept crying harder and harder. They both climaxed at the same time.  
Sasuke layed down next to his sweating, naked lover and pulled him close. "I love you Naruto Uzumaki, forever, I promise..." Sasuke whispered. Naruto snuggled closer to his boyfriend, "That promise will keep me going until you come back." the blonde whispered and then he fell asleep. Sasuke stroked his hair and soon fell asleep himself. Knowing that tomorrow, he would have to say goodbye to the boy he was in love with. But he tried to enjoy this moment as best as he could.

They stood right outside the gates of Konoha, hand in hand, tears running down both of their faces. "I have to get going Naruto..." Sasuke said. Naruto cried harder, this was so hard for him. The raven embraced his lover and held him tight. "I'll be back, you know I will...remember the promise I made to you." Sasuke said. "I know...I will remember." he said, still staring at the ground. Sasuke lifted Naruto's chin so that they were looking each other in the eyes. They stayed like that for a long time. They kissed each other one more time and then Sasuke walked into the distance. Naruto stood at the gate until he could no longer see Sasuke. Naruto turned around and just walked back to his house, in tears. His eyes were lifeless and empty.  
Naruto walked into his house, soaking wet from the rain the started on the way home. He crawled into his bed and just cried himself to sleep. He felt so numb, like he could just die. Something told him that Sasuke wasn't going to come home. "I have lost will to believe...I have no hope." he whispered to himself, then he slept.  
Little did Naruto or Sasuke know...this would be the biggest mistake that could ever happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto couldn't sleep that night, he tossed and turned, his sleep was interrupted by nightmares of Sasuke never coming home to him. He sat up in bed and bolted to the bathroom, where he vomited and retched for a half an hour. He leaned his cheek against the sink, the cold porcelain felt good on his clammy face. He broke out in a cold sweat, panting on the bathroom floor, and then he started to cry. "Sasuke I miss you..." he whispered to the dark. His stomach did flip flops, making him wince in pain. His hand shakily slid over his abdomen. It felt like he was being stabbed in the stomach, the tears stream faster down his face, which makes the pain in his abdomen become sharper. "Water..." he whispered and forced himself to stand, with the sink as his support. He made his way slowly to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He sat at the table with the glass between his hands, his hands shook so much, and water was splashing out of the glass on to the table. "Pull yourself together, Naruto." he said to himself, gripping a handful of blonde hair. The pain became too much for him as the glass shattered in his hand from squeezing too hard. He gripped the sides of his head with both hands, and he fell to the floor and curled up in a ball and cried and whimpered in pain. "Sasuke...Sasuke... Sasuke..." is all he could manage before he passed out from the pain and blood loss from his hand.

He awoke with the sun glaring in his eyes; he was still on the kitchen floor. The pain in his stomach was gone, but his head pounded with a headache. He forces himself into a sitting position, wincing in pain when he puts pressure on his hand, which is now coated in dry blood. He pulls himself up and stumbles into the bathroom. He cleans off his hand and bandages it, he jumps when the phone rings. Undoubtedly, he knew it was Tsunade.  
"Hello..." the blonde rasped.  
"Are you alright? You sound terrible; people said they heard screaming from over there last night." she said, clearly worried.  
"Nightmares is all." He said, not wanting to worry her about the stomach pain.  
"Do you need to me or Sakura to come over there?" he asked, pleading.  
"No, I'm alright...I just...want to be left alone." he whispered, tears already threatening to spill.  
"I love you brat, please call me later so I know you're alright." she is crying now, and Naruto feels terrible.  
"I love you too..." and hangs up the phone.  
He sat on the kitchen floor for a while, tracing the patterns in the tile. "Is this what it likes to be without the one you love?" he whispered, tears slipping down his cheek, making drops on the porcelain tiles. He forced some chicken broth down his throat, and it felt good on his stomach. He slowly made his way to the living room and curled up on the couch. "Sasuke…I hope you are thinking of me as much as I'm thinking of you." He whispered. And soon the blonde was off into a word of dreams.

/~***~\\\\\

Tsunade tapped her pen continuously on her desk, she couldn't get any work done with Naruto on her mind, she sighed. "Lady Tsunade, would you like me to check on him?" Sakura asked, her voice pleading. Tsunade looked up into her pale green eyes and nodded. "Please, I need to make sure he's alright, he is hurting so bad, and when he hurts, I hurt." She said. "His parents wouldn't want him to be like this." The hokage whispered. "I'll go check on him now." Sakura bowed and left the room. Tsunade was left with her thoughts; she wasn't sure what to think of this situation. "I just hope you know what you're doing Sasuke." She snapped.  
Sakura made her way down the streets on Konoha, lost in thought. Her best friend was hurting, and there was nothing she could do for him. 'He has helped me so much, and I can't help him in any way possible, Sasuke is his only source of happiness.' She thought, and in a way, it angered her, but she knew this was something that Sasuke had to do; he needed closure in knowing he had family.  
When Sakura arrived at her best friend's home, she knocked on the door lightly before peeking in to see Naruto snoring softly on the couch. She figured he wouldn't be waking up for a while. She decided to start cleaning his house for him; Naruto usually let himself go in these types of situations.  
When she made it to the bathroom, the toilet was stained with dry vomit, making Sakura almost sick, but it hadn't been the worst thing she had seen. The most frightening thing to her was the dried blood on the kitchen floor and table, and the broken glass everywhere. She peered in at Naruto, who had rolled over to face the coffee table; she then noticed his hand was wrapped up. She kept growing more concerned the longer she stayed in this house. She cleaned up the kitchen after the rest of the house was in clean, working, order. She started to cook dinner, which woke Naruto up instantly, but he rushed to the bathroom to vomit again, which concerned Sakura further.  
Naruto dizzily walked into the kitchen to see Sakura cooking dinner. "What are you doing here?" he said in his raspy voice. "Well someone had to check on you, you have Lady Tsunade pacing her office like there's a war going on." She smiled. "I'm fine." The blonde said as he sat down at the table. Sakura poured him a glass of cold water. "Ya hungry?" she asked. "Starving, my stomach is empty." He managed a small smile. Sakura set a bowl of chicken soup down in front of him and took her place next to him at the table. "Are you going to be okay?" she said with much concern. "I'm not sure, but I just have to trust Sasuke, I know he loves me…" Naruto whispered. "You're his whole world Naruto; he'd be lost without you. This is just as hard for him as it is for you. This is going to help him get closure with his family, he's going to try to bring them here and rebuild the clan and you two can live happily in the village. Sasuke will be so happy knowing his family is here." She said. "I hope his family accepts our relationship. I love him so much; I would be nothing without him." Naruto said, drinking his soup. "Thanks for coming over, I really needed it." The blonde smiled. "Anytime." Sakura said, hugging the blonde close to her. This time without Sasuke was going to be the hardest thing that Naruto ever had to go through. He lost him once, he couldn't do it again.

/~***~\\\\\


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto had been sick for over a month now and Tsunade knew that something wasn't right. Naruto refused, saying it was just depression and that it would go away shortly, he would learn to cope without Sasuke until he returned home. Tsunade pulled Naruto's paperwork from her desk, and skimmed it for hours, he had been the only thing she could really focus on since Sasuke's departure. Sakura went over twice a week to check on him, she did his grocery shopping, and cooked most of his meals. Naruto barely went outside anymore. His bed and the couch was where he stayed most of the time, or the bathroom, which he had been spending the night in frequently. There was more than one morning where Sakura would find him curled up against the toilet with dried vomit on his cheeks. Naruto slept all day, and cried when he was awake. The food he did manage to keep down made him look healthier, but Tsunade knew there was something else wrong and she couldn't pin point it. She continued to skim his paperwork for hours until she found all the information on the Kyuubi inside of Naruto.

After reading, she gasped. The fox inside of Naruto is a female, who during the time of the attack, was protecting her babies. All of the normal functions of the female fox now apply to Naruto. And with that, Tsunade had begun to cry. It couldn't be true, her little Naruto, who's already heartbroken and unhealthy, couldn't be having a baby. Who knows how long Sasuke would be gone and now Naruto really needed him. Tsunade tried to calm herself down, she didn't know this for sure. She need to convince Naruto to come in for a checkup, if she told him it was just to ease her mind, he probably would and she would offer ramen, because no matter how sick or depressed Naruto is, he never turns down ramen.

/~***\\\\\

"Sakura, I don't wanna go!" Naruto whined. "Too damn bad! Do you want Tsunade to be worried sick about you anymore? She can't even focus properly!" she yelled back at the blonde as she dragged him down the road to her office. Naruto shut up after that; he loved Tsunade and he knew that he wasn't worth her stressing out over.

Tsunade embraced him tightly when she saw him; it had been so long since she had seen him. He didn't look like himself and the concern was written all over her face. "Don't give me that look…I'm fine." Naruto managed a small smile. She kissed his forehead and took him to the exam room. Naruto did everything she told him to, until it came to urine sample. "What?! Why do you need that?! Am I dying?" he yelled. Sakura smacked herself in the face at his stupidity. "No you aren't dying, but you look really unhealthy, and I'm getting that urine sample whether you like it or not." She said back sternly. "Fine…" he said as he entered the bathroom. Tsunade explained to Sakura why she wanted the test done and Sakura was at a loss for words. "We just have to make sure we take good care of him if this comes back positive." Tsunade sighed and Sakura just nodded.

After about five minutes, Tsunade comes in with all the color gone from her face. "What?" Naruto sits up. Silence. "What?!" he yelled. "Naruto…you're pregnant." And with that, it was done. Naruto plopped down in the chair and stared blankly at her. "What…" he whispered, putting a hand over his stomach. Tsunade calmly explained everything to him about how and why this happened. "You'll carry like a woman would, but you'll get a C-Section when the baby is ready to come, I'll do all your appointments at your house, Sakura will do all your shopping, only your closest friends will know if you want them to come visit." She explained. Naruto was still in shock, which wasn't surprising. "How is Sasuke going to know?" he whispered, tears starting to spill. "When he comes back, we have no way of contacting him…" Tsunade said, saddened by the look on Naruto's face. "You're 7 weeks along." She smiled. "So it was conceived the night before he left me…" Naruto started crying more and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Sakura tucked his blonde locks behind his ears while he retched, her green eyes got very sad. Naruto was suffering, now even more, because Sasuke might not be home to see the birth of his child. Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head, he grew pale and collapsed. "Naruto!" Tsunade and Sakura yelled as they rushed to his side.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto was still very ill, but the baby was growing. He was now 3 months along in his pregnancy. He was never alone; Tsunade or Sakura was always with him. His depression seemed to be getting worse, and because of his pregnancy, Tsunade couldn't give him any medication. He talked in his sleep about Sasuke every night. But he was always rubbing his belly. He always talked about how much he loved the baby and how he couldn't wait to meet him or her. The only time he smiled was when he felt the baby kick or he saw it on the ultrasound screen. This baby was all the hope Naruto had left.

"Naruto, your hands are always on your belly." Sakura smiled. "I'm just so excited to be a dad; I love my baby so much. I can't wait for him or her to meet their other dad." He smiled a dull smile, and then smiled bigger once he felt the baby kick. Sakura smiled at that while she poured Naruto a glass of chamomile tea, she found that it calmed his stomach.

They sat in the back yard and talked for a long time. But Naruto just couldn't get his mind off of Sasuke. "What do you think he's doing right now? Do you think he misses me?" the blonde asked. "I'm sure he misses you a lot Naruto. I bet he's telling his whole family about you." She said. He smiled at that, but he was still insecure and had his doubts. "Hey, I forgot to tell you; Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro sent you something for the baby. I've been keeping you outside because Kiba has been inside putting it together." She led Naruto into the house to his room, where a hand carved cherry wood crib was sitting with a small little mattress inside. Kiba was proud of his work. Although Naruto wished Sasuke would have been the one to put their babies crib together, he was very grateful to everyone for their help. He gave Kiba a big hug and thanked him. "No problem buddy, you know the group and I would do anything to help, we can help out more once we figure out if the little booger is a boy or girl." Kiba smiled a huge smile. Naruto smiled, "Only 2 more months until we find out. I'm so excited." Kiba left shortly after that.

Naruto helped Sakura hang laundry outside. "I had no idea how many people were gonna be supportive of me and Sasuke, let alone the baby." The blonde smiled. Today seemed to be one of his better days lately. Sakura knew that later tonight he would be plagued by dreams of Sasuke and he'd be depressed again in the morning.

"Sakura! It's kicking! Feel!" Naruto got all excited and started smiling. Sakura felt and she smiled. "Well we know the baby will be hyper like you." She giggled. Sakura found that Naruto lit up when talking about the baby, but his depression was the worst at night time. She was concerned his depression would be bad for the baby, but she wouldn't voice that to Naruto. She knew that she had to be the best friend he could have to help him get through this.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke had been living with his cousin Kota and his family for the past two months since he had lived in their tiny village. He was so grateful for his new found family. He missed Naruto insanely, he thought about him all day, every day. Although, when he mentioned Naruto to his family, they weren't very accepting. Kota seemed to be the only one who approved of his relationship with Naruto and Sasuke had told him all the things they went through together.

"Sasuke, do you wanna go down to the herb cart with me?" Kota smiled at his cousin. "Sure." Sasuke smiled back. The herbalist came once every few months to deliver herbs to families and medics. Kota's wife, Nami, was a very well-known medic in their tiny village. People would come from far away to get her healings. As they approached the herbalists' cart, Sasuke was struck by the woman's beauty. She had long, flowing brown hair, and the greenest eyes he had ever seen.

"Hey Kota, here to get Nami's supplies?" she smiled at him. "You know it." He smiled back at her. "Who's your friend here?" she smiled in Sasuke's direction. "This is my cousin Sasuke! He's from Konoha." He said. Everyone knew the story of the Uchiha clan of Konoha. "Oh, nice to meet you. My name is Mikana." And then, her eyes met Sasuke's, and what he felt when they met, was electric. And for the first time in years, in this moment, Naruto didn't cross his mind.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto woke up crying. His depression had skyrocketed overnight. He lost his self-control and was sitting on the bathroom floor with a washcloth to his wrist; blood was dripping on the floor. He hit his head against the wall behind his head, making himself more lightheaded. The baby was turning in his stomach. He could vaguely hear Sakura running up the hallway. He was crying louder than he thought he was. "Oh Naruto! What have you done to yourself?!" she yelled. But he had soon passed out and woken up in the hospital, Tsunade overhead.

He would be in the hospital for a week on suicide watch, and he was ashamed. He cried and cried. He kept saying how sorry he was to the little baby in his stomach and how he truly loved it and would never do this again. Tsunade and Sakura had growing concerns as each day passed and they realized that this wasn't going to get any easier for Naruto.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke cried himself to sleep that night, crying to his pillow that he was a selfish prick for letting that women take over Naruto's place in his mind. How dare he ever do that to Naruto? After all that Naruto has done for him. Naruto practically gave up his entire childhood looking for Sasuke and almost dying to bring him home. He couldn't believe it. But he somehow couldn't get Mikana off of his mind either and it made him cry more and more. Something about her was different.


	5. Chapter 5

Today was the big day! Naruto lie anxiously in bed while he waited for Tsunade to finish setting up the ultrasound machine. Naruto hadn't had a depression episode in the past two months, and it was a huge sigh of relief for all who surrounded him. Sakura stood next to Naruto's bedside watching his feet bounce with excitement. She smiled at him when he looked up at her when Tsunade was finally finished setting up. Naruto was always happiest when it came to the baby and Sakura knew he would be an amazing father.

"Alright Naruto, this is going to be cold." Tsunade said before squirting the blue gel on his tummy. He winced from the cold, but his excitement was far too great for him to care. Tsunade pressed the camera over his abdomen. The baby was moving about and kicking its feet. Naruto laughed and then said loudly, "Tell me! I want to know now!" Tsunade said, "Alright Naruto…it's a girl!" Sakura and Naruto both squealed with excitement. "Her name with be Kushina, after my mother." He smiled. Sakura was talking up a storm about how she was going to spoil her and dress her in the cutest clothes. Now Naruto was more excited for the baby to come, but now that it was so real, he was much more anxious for Sasuke to come home so they could raise their daughter together.

Sakura rushed to the store and started buying little girls clothes for Naruto. She told all their friends and Naruto was having visitors all day long. He was so happy that he had the support of his friends. He really needed it. Kushina was the life of the party; everyone was touching the blondes tummy, hoping for a little kick. Naruto couldn't believe in just four more months, he'd have his little girl in his arms and hopefully the love of his life would be right there with him.

Tsunade sat back in her office, reading over Naruto's paperwork yet again. She had growing concerns for the last trimester of his pregnancy. The fox still dwelled inside of him and she knew that it could have a bad effect on Naruto and the baby once it comes time for him to give birth. The worst part of it all was that she knew she couldn't do anything about it. She hoped and prayed every single day that nothing but the best would happen to Naruto. He had been through too much in the past couple of months, she didn't think he could take much more.

/~***\\\\\

Naruto sat and watched as Kiba and Lee painted Kushina's nursery; a very pale pink with white borders. Sakura brought Naruto a bowl of ramen and some tea and watched with him. "You're giving me the baby fever Naruto!" she laughed. "You'll be next." He laughed back at her. A laugh from Naruto was rare nowadays so when it happened, the moment was truly cherished. "I wonder who I'll have my little family with…" Sakura trailed off and stared at Lee as he painted and she smiled. Naruto was happy to see that Sakura had finally taken a liking to Lee after all these years. But now Sakura was far too shy to ask him if he wanted to be with her, even though everyone knew that Lee would take her in his arms in a heartbeat.

When Sakura went to pull the laundry, Naruto saw it as his chance to get Lee to ask her out. Now that he was ready to have a family of his own, he wished the same for Sakura. "Hey, uh, Lee, come here a minute." Naruto said. Lee stepped down from the ladder and wiped the sweat from his head. "What's up Naruto?" Lee said in his youthful voice, smile wide. Naruto loved Lee's attitude, always so positive. "Hey look dude, Sakura likes you, I mean a lot, you should ask her on a date." Naruto smiled wide. Lee turned about twenty shades of red in that instant and he had a hard time believing it. "I wouldn't lie to you Lee, you know that." The blonde said. "I know Naruto…thank you for telling me." He smiled. "She's just being really shy about the whole thing, go ask her, now." Naruto pushed him towards the door. "Okay, okay." Lee stumbled out of the doorway towards Sakura. Kiba and Naruto laughed at his nervousness, but they were happy none the same to see two of their friends get their chance at happiness. Sakura jumped up and down and hugged Lee and it was truly a beautiful thing to see. It made Naruto's day a little better as the baby kicked inside his tummy.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke was rushing back and forth at the hospital where Kota's wife worked. He was helping with a sudden outbreak of severe flu symptoms. All the staff was wearing masks and Sasuke had sworn he had never seen so many sick people in his entire life.

With the high demand for medicines, Mikana was coming every single day to help at the hospital, making her herbal supplements and elixirs. It was even harder now for Sasuke not to think about her. And he found Naruto escaping his mind more and more each day. It scared him, but as soon as he saw her smiling at him, his anxiety seemed to lift. And as everyone in this small village seemed to notice Sasuke taking a liking to her, they seemed to push them together even more. Kota tried to prevent it, but it was a failed attempt most of the time. She was teaching him to make her supplements and they were spending more time together. It was about two in the morning before they got to go home. Mikana was staying in the small inn down the road from the hospital until the flu outbreak was over. Tonight, Sasuke's mind did all the talking when he blurted out, "How about I walk you to the inn?" he said. Mikana smiled and said "Thank you Sasuke that would be lovely."

It was cold tonight, so Sasuke wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. She smiled at him the whole time. Mikana shared the story of her life up to this point with Sasuke on the walk to the inn. When they got to the door he said to her "It was nice walking with you and learning about you, I wish it didn't have to end so soon." He smiled. "Who said it has to end?" she smiled and grabbed his hand. His mind went blank, except for her beautiful smiling face. She led him inside and up the halls to her room. When they got there, he walked in and she quietly shut the door behind her. The clicking sound of the lock echoed throughout the halls.


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto was two months away from giving birth to his little girl. And his belly was growing more and more every day. He was beginning to have stomach pains which scared him. Tsunade assured him that it was okay, because she knew the really reason behind the pains. The fox was beginning to reject the child and the chakra from the fox upset the baby.

Sakura had planned a surprise baby shower for Naruto and she was currently setting up at the park with Ino. She made it perfectly clear to everyone not to mention Sasuke at all. She wanted Naruto to be happy on this day, because he more than deserved it. All the girls seemed almost as excited as Naruto for little Kushina to get here. They couldn't wait to spoil her; if the huge pile of presents for her wasn't enough to show that. Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro were making a trip all the way out to Konoha for this day. Luckily, all of Naruto's friends were supportive of him and the baby.

Kiba was in charge of keeping Naruto distracted for the day, which wasn't too hard considering that Naruto was well…, Naruto. They sat on the top of the Hokage mountains where Naruto talked aimlessly to his dad's sculpture. "Kiba…do you think my parents are disappointed in me?" Naruto asked, sadness looming. "No way, they are probably just upset that they can't spoil her and be amazing grandparents." Kiba smiled. Naruto giggled. "You're right; they were amazing people in general." He smiled and rubbed his tummy. Kiba loved seeing Naruto happy, but he knew that as Naruto got closer to the birth of Kushina, the more depressed he was going to get, wondering whether or not Sasuke would be home to see it and support him. Kiba checked the time and decided it was best to get Naruto to the park for his surprise shower.

They walked down the hill to the back way path to the park. It was a gorgeous day and Naruto enjoyed basking in the sun. It made the whiskers on his cheeks stand out more, and his skin to glow. He breathed deep. Kiba was glad that he was doing so well today, he seemed in such a good mood.

"Where are we going anyways?" the blonde asked. "It's a surprise." Kiba smirked. "You know how much I hate waiting! Tell me!" Naruto fussed. Kiba laughed when he pushed back the trees and there were balloons and the color pink everywhere. Tears welled up in Naruto's eyes, tears of happiness of course. "My baby shower?! Oh my God, you guys are the most amazing people ever." He smiled and made his way to the pavilion. He got hugs from everyone and was really happy to see that his friends from Suna had made it to his party.

After many shower games and laughing, it was time for cake. Naruto could not believe the beautiful cake that was in front of him. It was two tiers, white icing with pink lace. Kushina's name was written in bright pink on the bottom tier. It was beautiful. It was a silky red velvet cake, which Naruto devoured three whole pieces in less than five minutes. He blamed it on being pregnant, but everyone else knew that Naruto just loved to eat. The baby started to kick with joy after the cake and Naruto was having everyone feel his belly, he loved being pregnant, except for the mood swings. He just couldn't wait to hold his little girl. And then he started to get sad. What if Sasuke wasn't home for the birth? He's been gone for Naruto's whole pregnancy. He tried to mask the sadness, so not to upset his friends. When presents were brought to his feet, his sadness seemed to lift a little. He couldn't believe all the gifts for the baby.

The gifts ranged from clothes to bottles and tons of diapers. Naruto knew that his little girl was the most spoiled child in Konoha. Tsunade and Jiraiya pitched in together for a stroller. It was black and yellow with safari animals on the back. Sakura and Ino bought her bed set. And although Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro already gave him the crib, they got the baby a matching dresser.

Naruto's day was made perfect by all of his friends, except for missing Sasuke so much. Every time Naruto thought of Sasuke, the baby seemed to kick harder. He didn't want Kushina to think that her daddy didn't love her. He knew Sasuke would be home soon. He promised. That promise was the only thing that has kept him going.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke and Mikana were inseparable since that night they spent together. He had claimed her as his and he was so happy to be with her. He hardly ever thought about Naruto, unless Kota brought it up. Kota was pretty disappointed that Sasuke was cheating on Naruto. They had only been apart for seven months. But the other Uchiha's were praising him for forgetting Naruto and being what they considered "normal" and Sasuke bought into it. Subconsciously or not, Kota believe that Sasuke should wake up and smell the coffee; what he was doing was very wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

Naruto's due date was any day now and he was severely depressed. Sasuke wasn't going to be home for the birth of their child. Sasuke didn't even know that he was having a child, and that thought killed Naruto. Naruto was having contractions, but not enough to simulate labor.

Naruto was getting dizzy in the mornings and stayed in bed most of the day. Sakura prepared his meals and was staying at his house to make sure she was there when it was time for the baby. Tsunade was on call at all hours for Naruto's birth. Naruto wanted to have the baby at his house because he wanted it to be very private.

"Naruto, are you hungry?" Sakura asked. "Yeah…I could go for some Ichiraku's right now." He smiled faintly, hand on his swollen belly. She smiled, "I'll go get us some, will you be alright while I'm gone?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. I haven't had any contractions for a few hours." The blonde replied. Sakura slipped on her coat and shoes and walked out the door. It was a cool September evening, and now the house was quiet. Naruto couldn't handle being alone, he had lost that ability long ago. Growing up alone should have made her immune to it, but once he had found someone to fight for and once he had him, there was no going back. Without Sasuke, Naruto had nothing left, except now he has his little girl. Naruto began to cry, tears flooded his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He felt numb at this moment.

Naruto's contractions started up again about twenty minutes after Sakura left. He lied down on the couch to calm his nerves. Tsunade had taught him breathing exercises. But this time, they weren't going to help. Naruto suddenly felt wet and sticky, and he realized that his water had broken. He panicked. Of course this would happen after Sakura left. He tried to get up, but the pain was too much. He needed to reach Tsunade; the baby was ready to come, it was time!

Naruto started to cry, from the pain of his contractions, he couldn't believe the pain. He tried to breathe, but found it hard to when he was so focused on the pain. Through blurred eyes, Naruto could see the foxes red chakra surround his belly and he started to scream. "Go away Kyuubi! Leave me and my baby alone!" he screamed.

Sakura busted through the door, she could hear Naruto's screaming from a mile away. She spread blankets on the floor and helped Naruto to lay down. She propped his head up on pillows and kept telling him to breathe. She called Tsunade and started to prepare buckets of water. Sakura was in medic mode, though she was very worried about Naruto and the baby. She draped a warm damp cloth on Naruto's forehead and took his hand. Keeping him calm wasn't very easy, he was in severe pain. Naruto squeezed her hand every time he had a contraction. Luckily, Sakura had learned how to take the pain.

Tsunade bolted through the door and without speaking started hooking Naruto up to wires and IV's to prepare him for his C-section. Naruto kept screaming and screaming. The fox's chakra was getting stronger and he was getting weaker. "Alright Naruto, I'm going to cut open your stomach now, get ready." She said and she sliced into his abdomen. He screamed, but not from the cut, from the foxes chakra. Naruto's vision became blurred and he became disoriented. He saw Tsunade lift a small figure into the air, he smiled and then he blacked out.

/~***~\\\\\

When Naruto awakened, he recollected what had happened before he passed out. He sprinted up. "Where is my baby?!" he yelled. But Sakura and Tsunade both had tears in their eyes as they cradled a small baby with black hair. Naruto went numb and fell back down on to the blankets. Tsunade and Sakura came to sit next to him and handed him the small bundle. The baby's skin had no life, it was gray and she wasn't breathing. Naruto's little girl didn't survive. The fox's chakra had killed her before they could get her out. Naruto's tears poured down his cheeks, numb, shaking. Tsunade and Sakura embraced him and they all cried.

Naruto didn't sleep that night, though he was exhausted. He cradled his little girl in his arms and cried. Tsunade was making phone calls and Sakura was trying to give Naruto enough privacy. They couldn't help but fear the worst now. No Sasuke, no baby, Naruto had nothing.

/~***~\\\\\

Mikana was moving to the small Uchiha village. Sasuke had seen her off at the gate and was enjoying the rest of the evening walking around the village. It was a full moon tonight, and the light lit the path to the gardens. Sasuke was enjoying the calming sound of the stream trickle by. He suddenly had a very heavy weight on his chest. Something wasn't right. He looked up at the moon and he thought of Konoha and soon of Naruto, who he hadn't thought of in a long while. Was he okay? How was he doing? These questions flooded through his mind. And he started to feel guilty about having left Naruto for so long and for finding someone new. Sasuke was happy here and happy with Mikana and he felt as if Naruto would understand that and want him to be happy. But one big question racked his mind this evening and it was; will he ever return home?

Kota found Sasuke in the garden and knew that he was finally having some deep thoughts. "Are you going to ever tell him?" he asked, startling Sasuke. "Why did you come here Sasuke?" Kota asked. Sasuke sighed and he said "To be with my family." He said. Kota quickly responded, "And to bring us back to Konoha so you could start the clan there again. Since you've met Mikana, I haven't heard anything about returning to Konoha. After all you've told me about Naruto, you think he deserves what you're doing to him? He sacrificed so much of his life for you, and this is how you repay him." Kota was getting angry. "Who are you to fucking judge Kota? I love Mikana!" Sasuke yelled. "You loved Naruto too!" Kota yelled back. Nami appeared in the gardens and yelled at them. "Your yelling woke the baby!" she exclaimed. Sasuke looked at the baby, and suddenly became very numb. "I…I have to lay down." He said and stumbled passed them into the house.


	8. Chapter 8

Naruto and his group of friends gathered in the park today to bury baby Kushina under the cherry blossom tree. The petals were falling fast and so were the tears. Tsunade held Naruto close to her. He hadn't spoken since the day the baby was born and he spent every day in bed or walking around like he wasn't even alive. As people started to leave the funeral, Naruto stayed, he would not leave.

Tsunade called an emergency meeting at her office for all of Naruto's friends. "He hasn't threatened to kill himself yet, but he is under 24 hour suicide watch, you got that?! All of you will be participating." She exclaimed and no one seemed to have any problem with that. "Damn that fucking Uchiha." Kiba yelled and slammed his fist into the wall. "He's done enough to Naruto, Naruto has given most of his life to Sasuke and how the fuck does he repay him?!" Kiba screamed. Everyone listening, but silently agreeing.

A medic from the hospital burst into Tsunade's office, startling everyone. "Lady Tsunade! We just found Naruto! He…he cut out his seal!" she yelled. Tsunade ran down the stairs to the hospital and found all of the medics trying to control the fox's chakra and stop Naruto from bleeding to death.

Tsunade used all of her chakra along with the group of his friends to contained the fox and destroy him. Naruto's own chakra had killed most of the fox before he was found. Naruto's intestines were damaged and Tsunade took him into surgery immediately.

/~***~\\\\\

The day was long and exhausting. When Naruto woke up from surgery, Tsunade was there to ask question. And for the first time in a few days, he spoke. "I wasn't trying to kill myself…I was trying to kill the fox, he killed my baby…" Naruto began to cry. Tsunade had no words for what Naruto just said. Tears filled her eyes and she exited the room to collect herself. Naruto lied back in bed and cried some more. His belly was covered in stitches and he thought of only the baby and he cried silently, "Sasuke…I need you…please…"

Sakura paced anxiously in Tsunade's office. Her hands were shaking and she was trying not to cry. Tears welled at the corners of her eyes and she was angry. She was so angry at Sasuke for all of this, even though he had no idea what happened to Naruto, she was still angry. None of this would be happening if he had just been home. She knew how selfish she sounded, since all Sasuke had ever wanted was to be with his family again, but Naruto was in so much pain and it broke her heart. He didn't deserve to be in pain, ever. She collapsed on a chair and bawled, her hands to her face, shaking uncontrollably. This was affecting everyone.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto was released from the hospital two weeks after he killed the fox. Now Naruto, for the first time in his life, was completely and utterly alone. He didn't have the fox to talk to anymore, and he didn't have his baby, or Sasuke. Naruto hated the fox; the fox had taken every good thing left in his life, he was glad to be rid of him.

Naruto flashed back to his fight with Pein and how he had dead eyes and when Naruto looked in the mirror, he saw the same thing. His eyes were dead; his body seemed lifeless, like an empty shell without a host. He felt hollow, like if he lightly touched his skin, he would crack. He was on 24 hour suicide watch, but Naruto wasn't planning to kill himself. Sasuke's promise still had him holding on to life, by the last thread of hope he had left.

Sakura was with him most of the time. She was depressed just being around him. Who could be happy when their best friend was in so much pain? Although, Naruto had stopped crying, he was numb. He told Sakura that he felt nothing anymore. Sakura could see the life fading from Naruto's eyes. The bright blue they once were was now becoming dull. Her heart ached for him every day. Naruto slept most of the time, he barely ever ate, and he didn't talk, but maybe a few times a week.

Tsunade gave Sakura a break from Naruto, but it seemed to have no avail to her concern. She asked about him all day and every day to make sure he was alright. The whole village was becoming gloomy and depressed from this. Tsunade cried more than she ever had in her whole life. But as the village became more saddened, they started to become angrier at Sasuke Uchiha.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke and Mikana now lived together in a small house in the village. Kota's constant reminders of Naruto and the leaf village were getting old. He still helped at the hospital and Kota stopped talking about Naruto, he knew that there was no use anymore. Sasuke had tried to forget Naruto, and was making it a point to.

Mikana didn't like any talk of Naruto or the leaf village. She wanted Sasuke all to herself. And Sasuke let her have her way which was the most disappointing part of this whole mess. Kota and Nami had many growing concerns for Sasuke's relationship with her and were now considering leaving this village and going to Konoha. Nami knew that Konoha was great for her medicines and her nursing because of all of the ninja.

But this was something that was going to take more thought and a long conversation with Sasuke, which would take much longer than anyone expected.


	9. Chapter 9: Time Skip

Sasuke took a deep breath as he approached to gates of Konoha. It has been almost 3 years since he left and he was now finally going to break the news to Naruto that he wasn't going to come back, he was going to spend one week in Konoha to pack his things and leave for good. He was going to ask Mikana to marry him; he wasn't sure how Naruto would take it.

Sasuke took a deep breath and walked through the gates. The two ninja at the gate gasped when they saw him and the glared at him. Sasuke headed towards the Hokage tower and knew that Tsunade was not going to be happy. He felt tension in the air all around him, something had happened. He felt a jolt in his heart when he approached the tower.

He knocked lightly on Tsunade's door. "Come in." she said, her voice was different. When he walked in the door, her eyes lifted. They were shocked and then in a split second, her eyes were full of anger. "So you finally decided to come home? Almost 3 years later. You should be ashamed of yourself." She yelled. Sasuke was silent and that made her even angrier. Sakura busted into the door. "You son of a bitch!" she punched Sasuke straight in the jaw. She was livid. Tsunade didn't stop her; she knew that Sasuke deserved it. "What the hell did I do?! You both know I went to see my family." He yelled. "Yeah, for 3 fucking years Sasuke?! You left Naruto here, alone, you have NO idea what he's been through since you've been gone!" Sakura screamed. Tsunade stepped in and Sakura left and slammed the door behind her. "Do you want to see him?" she asked. "Yeah, I do…" he said, concern was creeping into his voice.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto sat on the bench next to the cherry blossom tree in the park. He stared at the grave of his little girl. "Happy 2nd Birthday Kushina." He whispered, and tears flowed down his cheeks. The wind blew softly and he breathed in. He knew that she was there with him.

Naruto could hear footsteps approaching. They were too heavy to be Sakura's and too fast to be Tsunade's. "Naruto?" Sasuke whispered. Naruto's heart dropped. "Am I dreaming again Sasuke? Or am I really hearing your voice?" he said. Sasuke could feel the depression radiating off of Naruto. When Naruto turned to look at him, he was shocked at what he saw. Naruto's eyes were no longer blue, they were gray. His hair had no luster and his skin no longer glowed. Sasuke had no words to say. "I missed you…so much." Naruto whispered. "What…happened to you? You look awful…" and for the first time in a long time, Sasuke was thinking of only Naruto when he asked that. "It's not important now, you kept your promise…you came back." Naruto smiled weakly. Sasuke's eyes got sad. "Your promise was the only thing that has kept me going." Naruto stood up and his posture was weak. This wasn't Naruto, and Sasuke didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't have done this to him. What the hell happened?

"Naruto…please, tell me what happened to you." Sasuke was starting to get upset. "Like I said…it's not important." He said, stepping to block Kushina's tiny grave. "You're not staying…are you Sasuke?" Naruto asked him. "Naruto…I…" Sasuke began. "No. Don't explain. I'm not sure I can handle it." Naruto bit his tongue to stop from crying. Sasuke couldn't handle this, Naruto wasn't himself, he was so empty and desolate. All Sasuke could do is walk away. Naruto was glad he did, because he broke down and cried next to his little girls grave.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke didn't bother to knock on Tsunade's door this time, but he kind of wished he had. Because when he opened the door, there stood all of Naruto's friends. And all of them looked ready to beat the shit out of him. "No one do anything drastic. Excuse yourselves while I have a lengthy conversation with Sasuke." Tsunade said sternly. Sasuke stepped to the side and watched as many pairs of angry eyes walk passed him. When the door shut behind him, Sasuke was immediately frantic. "What the hell happened to him? He won't tell me. I need to fucking know. Dear God, fucking tell me." He yelled. Tsunade stared at him and motioned him to sit down. He sat down and she began.

"A few weeks after you left, Naruto was still very sick, I knew it couldn't only be depression. I did some research on the fox spirit and found out that the fox is a female. With that, the fox also goes into heat, and Naruto is her host." She stated. Sasuke knew where this was going, but he couldn't and did not want to believe it. His face fell into his hands. "His pregnancy test came out positive, and he carried the baby for all 9 months. When it was time for her to come, the fox did not like it and the fox's powerful chakra had killed the baby before we could get her out of Naruto's stomach. He was devastated." She got sad and then she smiled. "She looked like you. Black hair, Naruto's blue eyes and his whiskers, your pale skin. She was so beautiful. Her name was Kushina and today would have been her 2nd birthday."

Sasuke was shaking. He couldn't believe this. He really couldn't believe this was happening. He had a daughter and he didn't even know it. Naruto had to go through all of this alone. He was such a bastard for all of this. And then he thought of Mikana and how he left this life behind to be with her. Then Tsunade broke his train of thought. "Where is Naruto now? What did you say to him?!" Tsunade asked. "I told him I wasn't staying…" Sasuke whispered. "Oh…Oh God, no." Tsunade ran to the phone. "Sakura, get everyone together, now! You have to find Naruto, I think he might try and kill himself!" she yelled. And Sasuke ran out the door, he was going to find Naruto.

He ran faster than he ever had before. Instinct made him run towards the house. His mind had been so overwhelmed with all the information he just received. Naruto was pregnant, with his baby, he had a daughter, she died, Naruto was completely empty, and most of all…he was the one who did it. Kota was right; Sasuke had made a huge mistake.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto silently walked into his house and the click of the lock echoed through the dark, empty house. He walked into the baby's room and removed the gun he had stashed in the vent. He slid down the wall, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Kushina…I will see you soon my sweet baby girl. Daddy has gone for good, I have nothing left. I need to be with you. I love you so much." He whispered to the ceiling. He ran his fingers over the barrel and with shaking hands, he put the gun to his forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke burst into the door, his strength broke the lock on the door. "Naruto! Oh God, Naruto, I know you're here!" he yelled. He heard a muffled cry and ran down the hall. He saw Naruto, gun to his forehead, finger on the trigger. Sasuke ran towards him and the gun went off.

Naruto gasped. The gun had slipped and shot Sasuke in the shoulder. "You fucking bastard!" Naruto yelled. "Why didn't you let me die?! Let's me die! I have nothing! You're leaving me, my daughter is dead, what do I have left?" he was screaming, his voice becoming raw. He was hitting Sasuke in the chest, but Sasuke didn't flinch. Sasuke's arms were shaking, blood running thick down his shoulder.

Tears ran how his cheeks and he took his uninjured arm and pressed Naruto to his chest. He stayed silent, although Naruto was frantic. Sasuke just pressed him harder against him. Eventually, Naruto became calm and started to cry. "Please…don't leave me." He whispered.

Sasuke looked into Naruto's eyes and pressed his forehead lightly against the blonde's. Sasuke then realized that Naruto was the one he truly loved. He couldn't believe how selfish he was after he left. He pressed his lips hard against Naruto's and as hard as he pushed him away, Naruto couldn't resist. He had missed Sasuke's touch so much, and despite his anger, Naruto knew that Sasuke was his one and only. He was so in love with him.

"Forgive me…" Sasuke whispered. "I do…" Naruto whispered and they were kissing again. "I love you Naruto Uzumaki." Sasuke said. "I love you Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto smiled. "I'm staying. I'm so sorry. You're coming with me to the village, I'm going to show you off to my family and if they don't accept it, they can forget it." Sasuke said. Naruto smiled. "Let's go to the hospital, Tsunade is probably worried sick." The blonde said.

He supported Sasuke's weak arm while the walked to the hospital. When they walked through the door, Tsunade was at the desk, frantic. "Tsunade-sama! They are here!" a nurse yelled. She looked up and gathered both of them in her arms. She took Naruto's face in her hands and stroked his cheeks. "Oh thank God you're okay." She cried. "Tsunade…Sasuke is bleeding." Naruto said. She looked at him and led him up the hallway to the wound center. The bullet had gone clear through his shoulder. She patched and stitched him up.

Naruto agreed to therapy and counseling for his suicidal tendencies and self-harm. He would stay in the hospital for two weeks. Sasuke never left his side. He said he was sorry all day every single day and Naruto kept telling him that it was okay. But Sasuke knew that it wasn't okay. He didn't deserve for Naruto to forgive him. Naruto was doing well in therapy and Sasuke's wound was almost healed. Tsunade thought it would be okay for them to visit little Kushina's grave.

"Are you nervous?" Naruto asked. "Yeah…" Sasuke sighed, his heart was racing. He was holding a handful of daisies in his hand, his other hand laced with Naruto's. Naruto smiled as he approached the cherry blossom tree. The breeze started up and Naruto whispered, "She's here with us."

Sasuke set the flowers on her small grave. "Hi Kushina, I'm your daddy…" Sasuke started to cry, hysterically. Naruto had never seen Sasuke so upset. He embraced him and they cried together. Naruto knew that he was truly sorry for what had happened and that despite everything, he loved their little girl. Sasuke felt the wind brush against his cheek, as if Kushina was trying to wipe away his tears. "I love you baby girl." Sasuke whispered, touching the small stone with his fingers. "Isn't it great to finally meet daddy Kushina?" Naruto said. The wind really picked up and Naruto giggled. "She must be happy to meet you." Naruto smiled and kissed Sasuke's cheek and wiped away his tears. They sat there together for hours. Just enjoy their little family, although broken, still together in this moment and for this first time, Sasuke and Naruto felt complete.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto got nervous as they approached the small village. Sasuke squeezed his hand and assured him that everything was going to be okay. When they walked through the gates, they received many stares, but a smiling Kota was there with Nami. Mikana was furious. She screamed and yelled and threw a fit. "You fucking faggots!" she screamed and ran out of the village.

"Naruto, this is my cousin, Kota." Sasuke smiled. Naruto shook his hand and smiled. "Thank you for taking care of him…and believing in us." Naruto smiled. Kota smiled and leads the two back to their home. Kota was so proud that Sasuke stood up to the family and continued his relationship with Naruto.

Sasuke explained the whole situation to Kota and Nami about the baby. After many tears and cups of tea, Kota and Nami announced that they had talked to the council and that more than half of the Uchiha's were moving back to Konoha.

Sasuke was completely ecstatic and Naruto was so happy that his family was going to accept him. This was such an amazing thing. Everything was falling into place.

/~***~\\\\\

A few months went by and the Uchiha compound was full of people once again. Sasuke was the head of the council for the new compound. Nami was head nurse at the hospital and lead medic. Sakura was her understudy for herb-ology. Everything was perfect.

This most perfect part of it all was the baby inside of Naruto's stomach. Sasuke kissed his stomach every day. They were having a boy and they were so excited, his name would be Hikari. It was hard to paint over Kushina's room, but Naruto felt like she would want them to be move past this. They would always love their little girl.

Naruto had a healthy pregnancy and Sasuke was the best dad in the world. Naruto was the happiest he had ever been.

Sasuke and Naruto cuddled on the couch and kissed, enjoying their new life and the happiness they felt. Their love was real and it always had been. And if they ever started to have a doubt, all they needed was to hear the pitter patter of footsteps running down the hall.


End file.
